Women who Love too much
Robin Norwood
Robin Norwood
But this particular book, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood, I should have read it much—much—earlier than I actually did, which is why I recommend it to all my female friends. The reason I didn't read it earlier is ironic: I was obsessed with the idea of being loved.
Throughout the book, the author explores the complex dynamics of women who give themselves completely to destructive, codependent relationships. What I always thought was "bad luck" was actually a recurring pattern, shaped by the lessons we’re taught since childhood. “He doesn’t like you? It’s because you’re not pretty enough. He’s not paying attention to you? It’s because you haven’t tried hard enough. He lost his temper? It’s because you provoked him.”
Reading this book wasn’t easy because, surprisingly, I recognized myself in many of the characteristics described about women who had gone through such relationships—seeking external validation and always trying to "save" our partner. I remember reading it on the bus to work, and tears fell as I finally understood things I hadn’t done back then. I think this is almost a must-read for those of us who find it a bit harder to heal certain patterns in relationships.
Note
“It requires a hard look at what is, rather than what you hope will be. As you let go of managing and controlling, you must also let go of the idea that “when he changes I’ll be happy.” He may never change. You must stop trying to make him. And you must learn to be happy anyway.”